1. Mist ourselves continuously until we develop a gelatinous outer layer of cooling algae.
2. Boozy milkshakes for adults on sloping roofs.
3. Convert the hot zone suit into a sassy romper.
4. One dollar chilled Gowanus oysters.
5. Skinny dipping at the TWA Hotel pool.
6. Temporarily shutting down thousands of heat-producing bitcoin mining operations – investors won't mind.
7. Checking into an Airbnb on that stretch of newly floating Greenland ice sheet.
8. Filibustering in loose, breathable outfits.
9. Kim Kardashian must have something cool planned: ask permission to participate?
10. Waging an orderly riot at Vince Lombardi Service Plaza's Slushy Pagoda.
11. An air-conditioned “escape room” on the boardwalk that we can't escape from no matter how hard we try; Please do not call the fire brigade. This lock appears to be broken from the inside.
12. Taking a Lyft the entire length of the Appalachian Trail.
13. Finally invest in a good set of coconut machetes.
14. Swimsuit, Yeezy flip-flops, hammock over a bodega chest freezer — heaven?
15. Have our hobby feet waxed.
16. Bribing us into a summer-long sequestered mafia jury.
17. Mentholated everything.
18. Body painting on a tuxedo so we can attend black-tie events in the buff.
19. Requesting Elon Musk to invest all his time and money into a Shade Locator app.
20. Report a forest fire, sit back in a lawn chair and wait for the Forest Service to arrive with a bucket.
21. Putting on a cotton summer dress and running around in a field, all wild and free.
22. Our tootsies dangle in the zen waterfall in our therapist's waiting room.
23. Quick jaunt to the top of Everest strapped to the back of a Sherpa who we definitely want to tip.
24. Shave off our thick layer of bristly undercoat.
25. Swap apartments with someone at the McMurdo research station.
26. Reluctantly removing several muslin scarves from our Captain Jack Sparrow costume.
27. Sneaking into Gwyneth Paltrow's house and stealing frozen jackfruit before using it in a post-workout smoothie.
28. I just hope the sun burns out soon.
29. Visiting a ski resort and aiming the snow cannon directly at our armpits.
30. A few more crates of Alaskan seafood for the night, just for the dry ice.
31. Order a Cameo from Coolio.
32. Freeze Crocs.
33. Remaining completely silent, communicating only with a coquettish smile and a few winks.
34. Asking our friend Jeff Bezos if we can take a ride to the moon.
35. Why not add a few more razor blades to this old Van Halen tank top?
36. Reverting the hot sauce selection from “Ass-pocalypse” to “Tongue Reaper.”
37. Installing product misters on our underwear waistbands.
38. Summer internship in walk-in freezer.
39. Confidently claiming to be a member of the Fountain Police and walking around various fountains, 'solving crimes'.
40. Forging the login details of an ice cream sommelier and carrying out daily quality checks at various supermarkets.
41. Climbing into a glacial crevasse after carving out frozen Neanderthals
42. Go underground, join the mole people.
43. Filling a foot bath with gazpacho.
